Advent of Counselling
Once upon a time, the world indeed was one, before the continental drift. Even after it, now, when life thrives all across the globe, we are one family- Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam. Remember, the era of joint families where grandparents, uncles & aunts and lots of cousins, stayed together? We would fight, shout but stay under one roof. I recall times when I was naive enough to not know the difference between a real sibling and a cousin because everyone stayed together and no one took permission before entering the room of another… The concept of space was non-existent. There was almost nothing that belonged to “me”, there was just “we”!
Depression, divorce, anxiety, trauma was unheard of. Not that it didn’t exist. It is the wisdom of the elders of the family who kept it all under their wings and not an iota of family feud got outside of the four walls! The elders, Uncles & Aunt were the wise ones- the counsellors of all members of the family and even those of the neighbourhood. We did not need professionals to help us see through the problem to the brighter side of our world. Neither did we feel lonely nor got bored. There was always something to do and if there was not, that was okay too- no complaints. Resources may be limited but people were unlimited and stood with us like a pillar. Now, it is the exact opposite- there is no dearth of gadgets in life and if we were to pour our heart out, rarely do we have that number in the contact list!
As a therapist, since I utilise tools for facilitating change, I am not a big fan of talk therapy! It has its merits but I find the limitations to be way more than the opportunities it offers. And yet, I have people who call me and are ready to pay a hefty amount just to listen to them and more importantly, listen without judgement and yes, validate their suffering in some way. These were all work of the community living we once had!
Therefore, as the world progressed, metaphorically, the continental drift happened in families, the role of the counsellors gained significance. These are trained professionals who listen, guide, correct the course and hold the space without judging anything that is presented to them- the exact same role of a family member.
There is no harm in visiting a professional, rather it is good and helps us re-focus. It is like going to the doctor when you have viral- you can cure it on your own; the doctor helps in easing the suffering and above all, you are not a doctor so he knows better, merely by the degree and the experience! At the same time, know that what we have considered as evolution and being modern, there is a huge price that we are paying for it. Consider reconstructing homes and not just bigger houses…